just want to write .....

just now..my friend ask me what is the wording of Day Taps..i know this song very good..so i sang it out..but..the wayi sang was the fast way of Taps..not the slow tune..when i was singing out just now..my brain suddenly flash back to my stay in sangam..which the 1st time i heard this way of taps...i still remembered i was so shock when i heard that especially i still in the circle..haha..that night make me feel like..oh..guiding is really fun! i was so sad..because i forgot about this for more than 1 years..
there was an incident that make me feel very annoyed..actually it was just an email...but i really very angry..and i decided to reply them with not very good tune..i thought i din send out that email..but..actually i already send it out..this misunderstood were happened between me and the connection..hahaha..luckily it was the first email had been send out..if the second..i dono what is going to happen..because they are extremely not professional..
sometime i ask myself...What is Girl Guiding? What is the purpose of Girl Guiding? Why i still stay in Girl Guiding? Is it Girl Guiding is for all ages of Girls and Women? i really confused with all this simple questions..
Why? because i am confused by all the adults that are crazy about Powersssss, about revengesss(it should be appropraiate), and every evil things..now..i really disapointed by my association..i keep on asking myself..should i still stay in there? or this is the end of my journey in this association? may be..others will think that i am so childish and stupid..just go away if i feel like i want to..but..i have been in this association for more than 10 years...if i choose to quick.,.means i need to put down half of my life...luckily..i still have some friends and guiders that can really guide me and listen to me and give me some advise..
sometime i feel sad..because i not really can write what i want to write in my blog..sometime even in my facebook..why? because there are spysssss in facebook...WTH? i really dono what to do with these adultssss ( i not sure whether they are in the category of mature )...i not really can write what i like anywhere..
but..today..i post this in my blog..mean i don care what is going to happen..if the spysssss read this..i also don mind..if you are the spysss that read this post..and you prepare to tell someone..just go for it..i don care...
this is what i feel today...
huh!! seem like tonight is an angry night..
@@, ==

tidy up = memories...

today..i was forced by my mom to tidy uo my room and my cupboard..it was a long long tidy up..in the end..we throw away things and clothes that can fully fill in 2 big big boxes..in the middle of tidy up..a lot of memories pop up in my brain while looking through all the 'craps'...it was fun..until i saw a picture..it should be a happy picture..but because of 'pn tang' is in the picture..it become an angry picture. i cant understand why i still hate that teacher though that incident been 7 years now..i still can remember all the things that she did to me..now i understand why my mom said..try not to hate someone..because once you hate someone, you might hate him/her for life..
then..i also throw away a lot of old old guiding tshirt..feel so sad to throw it away..but it seem really old and i cant keep on keep them like that..soi decided before i give them to someone, i will have a photo with all the tshirt..its probably the best way to keep those tshirt..
its been 3 weeks back from sangam..yesterday i was extremely miss my stay in sangam..i miss katey..manisha, jill and priyanka so so much..guys..i miss all the joke, all the care and all the voices...
hope everyone doing good...

a busy night and day...

i was home...parent home..home sweet home...last night...at around 2330...then we went to have late late dinner..my parent brought me to my favourite curry noodle..so so tasty..wahahaa..
and then..i started my preparation for my branch meeting the next day about my stay in India...guess what..i too excited doing my preparation until i forgot that i should sleep early...and i really sleep early which is i went to bed at 7am just now...wahaha..when i did preparation for the presentation...i thought of Katey..the spinning Sangam Logo...haha..i keep on laughing when i thought of that..so funny...
then...i wake up at 9.20am...had my lovely breakfast with my mom and then i tried my uniform..wah!!!thanks god! i still can fit in..hehe...i not really put on weight..hehehe..
then ..1100 i went to Hotel Seri Malaysia..i was so happy to meet my branch commisioner..so happy to chat with her..feel so so harmony...
oops...its time to get back to my preparation for meeting..hehe..^^

a day....

back to malaysia for 2 weeks already...life full of meeting people..watching movie..catching drama..drawing warli art...catch up mandarin song, cantonese song, malay song and english song....today was a typical meeting people and movie day..
my day start with reserving ticket for 6pm movie..then i went to mid valley to meet my red cresent junior...we always went to mc donald for chit chat and gosipping.,..but today..mc donald was full house..then we changed to domino's..and then our nightmare beginsssss....
things started with bread sticks..we ordered combo for 4...we only got 3 bread sticks..i felt weird coz it's combo for 4..it should be at least 4...and then..another tiny bowl of salad..we all laughed at the salad...is that for 4?? so little...and then... a REGULAR pizza came..that time..we all realised that it must be mistake..coz pizza that we ordered was a LARGE pizza....then we ask the manager for changed...but their service was so so so so so so slow....luckily i learned patient from Sangam..or else i must be very very angry and refuse to pay...
then...we go watch Tsunami...it was a korea movie and all about tsunami..after that movie...i feel like everythings that happened were a little fault that done by human and the impact became so so so big...as example..the professor in that movie keep on tell his manager about the tsunami and they should take precaution...but because of the it just may be attitude..and this become a big mistake..and cause died of a lot poeples....
a lot of thought today....but i wish everyday will be a great day...
wish everyone all the best..

another day

today....pass very fast..
i spent my half day to fill in the eval form and then go had late lunch and then meet people..and then..today finish...haha..today feel better already..not that bad..but..still miss my stay in sangam...hope everythings alright and all the best to everyone.

weird...weird...

today...was the 3rd day i backed to malaysia..
so weird..i feel nothing to my friends...everythings...
i feel like a human that don have feeling anymore..everythings very very weird..i feel like i want to run away from all my life and start with new life...now..i am wonder...life before i had..was it the life i want? i shouldnt feel this way...i know..its really really weird..
i dono how to describe my feeling...this make me more worst..because i dono who should i talk to..i really feel bad..like everything go wrong and wrong and wrong..
somtime in just wonder...should i went to sangam for 4 months? may be is time to change...can someone tell me what should i do?what should i focus in?
i really wish to say S***